Blog 5 - Even removing the origins

I changed the direction of my voices to animators until I revised the linked draft 2 and composed the final synthesis essay. From one of the peer reviews for my essay, it is said that “your paper” was still a bit broad…it could be still be narrowed down”. From another peer review, it wrote that “I get kind of lost when reading it”. Both of the comment points showed that my essay was still quite a loose, although I had tried to use subtitles and revised the ending of each sections. It was still not that focused. I tried to figure out that question and found that the targeted audiences I imagined changed from this section to that section. In Technology and storytelling section, I compared the utility of technology and the focus of storytelling to the animators. In Paradox of animation: entertainment and education section, I tried to persuade the parents that animation can be teaching but not just entertaining. In Culture inheritance section, I wanted to show that animation as a culture product can convey some kind of cultural values and influence the in heritance of culture to the general people. I guessed that the present reader might not be concentrated all the time. They may feel like “are you still talking to me?” So I changed the direction of voice to animators mainly and used the teaching and cultural values that animation may have, to persuade animators that what kind of animations they should make and why.  Since then, in the academic introduction, my working thesis changed to what animators should do from re-evaluate the values of animation. Moreover, I tried to drag the working thesis into the ending of each section to make them whole. Later, I also changed the title of my essay from the expectation of animation to that animators should do. Finally I found all the parts, no matter the introduction and sub sections, they connected closer.

To shorten my linked essay 2, I also removed the paragraph that talks about that some people consider animation as childish because the imagined audiences are more focused on animators. But all of my persuasion can still be conveyed to general people because the understanding of teaching and cultural values of animations matter to them. The common consciousness of building and developing animation raises from the public. Since I have showed that the teaching values of animation, it is obvious to the audiences that animation is not simple just for children. Although this bias on animation is the important reason I started out my essay, the essay could be more directed if removing it.

The most interesting thing I found is that animation is a culture product that reflects the local culture and custom. At first, I could only find the teaching function of animation. I realized that animation can influence the inheritance of a culture until I found an essay talking about how Confusion values and Japanese animations link together and the influence by anime to the Japanese society. I think that was a very bright point because I always thought animation is just an entertainment and it wouldn’t have some very significant impact in the public. So I think this point is very arresting and thoughtful.